What I Am Thinking About Private and Group Coaching

by | 73 comments

Several days ago, I asked if you would be interested in either private one-on-one coaching or possibly a group coaching class that I was considering teaching.

And the response was a resounding “YES!” To both.

I’ve had HUNDREDS of people express interest in this over the past few weeks.

And I’ve been completely inundated with blog comments, survey responses, and emails (sorry if I haven’t gotten back to you yet, I’m really trying to catch up, but it may take some time…!)

Through this whole process I have been completely humbled by all of the support and encouragement that I’ve received from all of you. I really appreciate that you’re willing to have a conversation with me about all of this.

Anyway…

After reading countless messages and surveys from you, I’ve been putting together the outline for what our online class (that we are all creating together) might look like.

And here’s a short video explaining what I’m currently thinking.

After watching the video, please leave a comment below and let me know what you think of this.

I’m still testing out some software programs to manage what we’re all creating here… and I have a few appointments to talk with representatives from other software companies too.

But I should have an official offer and registration page for BOTH the private coaching and the group coaching class soon (likely next week).

Again, thank you so much for your support and encouragement through all of this. It really has meant the world to me!

73 Comments

  1. Vivian

    Clay you rock! You’ve put so much thought into this! I hope I can be one of your individual clients but the group courses sound amazing too!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Vivian, thanks for the kind words. I should have the details figured out and a registration page set up next week 🙂

      Reply
    • Gie

      Fantabulous presentation Clay!! I would be so blessed if I can get on the short list for the private coaching. As I’ve mentioned before, I have read books on relationships and how to understand myself better to be that ‘high valued woman’, to reading blogs on texts that the ex could not resist replying to and seeing you as ‘the one’. But at the end of it all, I have questions and thoughts but no one to refer them to. So this is absolutely a brilliant ‘proposal’ and it is exactly what I NEED to finally get back on track. You weren’t kidding when you’ve said you are going to spoil the first graduates!!! The entire concept both the private and group coachings are brilliant!

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Thanks, Gie! Yeah, I’ve always wanted to “do right” by the people that support us and our work early. Ha ha! There is even a very, very small group of people out there who have access to everything we ever make for free… from a promotion that we did many years ago.

        Reply
        • Teresa

          Clay please contact me for coaching

          Reply
          • Clay Andrews

            Hi Teresa, I’ll be posting the details tomorrow 🙂

    • Duran Houston

      What if your ex starts going places they never went with you?

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        They are at least trying to create a new identity for themselves.

        Reply
  2. Brandon

    Sounds good Clay…keep me posted

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Brandon, thanks for letting me know. I’ll have a registration form ready to go next week once I figure out a few more details.

      Reply
      • Jacob

        Hey Clay! This presentation was fantastic!
        I would be super happy if I could be a part of the personal coaching but with how it’s been described it sounds like the group coaching will be amazing also!
        Thank you for taking this all on again but be sure you take care of yourself and your family too!
        I look forward to the official launch!

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Thanks for the feedback Jacob. I’m glad that you (and others) seem to like what I’ve been thinking. I should have a proper registration page and all the final details figured out by next week.

          Reply
          • Cindy Carlos

            Hello Clay,

            I have enjoyed your wealth of knowledge. You are an amazing person with a gift to share with many people. Thank you for giving your best and caring truly loving people like you do. I would love to be considered to part of a private coaching, or group coaching. I would be considered blessed to you allowing me be part of the coaching.

            Thank You
            Cindy

          • Clay Andrews

            Thanks Cindy for the kind words. I’ll be posting an update tomorrow with more of the details.

  3. Tammy Corvin

    Dear Clay,

    Thank you for this presentation and your thoughts for going forward. I love about that you are personal and interactive and direct and generous. I really do feel you care and are interested in your clients. That said, the ideas for the group program sound really good to me. Depending on the investment, I’m in.

    With respect to my case, and I’m sure I’m not alone, I would go back to my ex in a heartbeat if it weren’t for the fact that I believe he is a true narcissist. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in almost two years. I did try to engage him according to the ex back solution program, but I became very discouraged by his responses and felt I wasn’t communicating with him in the right way. The last contact I had with him was about a year ago. It was via text. Once again he was mean to me and I apparently responded in a way that he felt was critical. I thought I was being funny. In any case, I suddenly had a light bulb moment and said I don’t deserve to be treated like this. Nevertheless, I think about him every day and I pray for him every day. He is what he is because of whatever experiences he had. That does not excuse his behavior, although deep down, I know he just wants to be loved. But I can’t change him and he probably never will change. Thus, although I love him and do want the kind, loving part of him back, I know he is not good for me and I think I should move on.

    Does the course include any material on recognizing if it’s even a good idea to want your ex back and how to cope if you determine pursuing the ex is not in your best interests? I think that would be beneficial for a lot of people.

    Thanks!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Tammy, I’m sorry to hear about your ex being a narcissist and all the pain it has caused you. I think it’s good though that you realize that you deserve better than that sort of treatment. I agree that before anyone decides to go “all in” on getting back together with their ex, that they should first make sure that their ex is a good fit for them to be in a relationship with. A lot of people just assume that their ex is a good fit for them because they miss their ex. And this is actually the very FIRST thing I want to address with this group coaching course. I’ve been thinking about asking another coach that I know (who specifically helps people get over their ex) to step in and provide a lesson or some advice in this area.

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Okay. That was fast! I just got confirmation from my coach-friend that he is available for helping to guide people through getting over their ex and moving on. We just need to figure out the details and record some sort of lesson.

        Reply
        • Tammy Corvin

          Fantastic! I’m really looking forward to this.

          Reply
          • Clay Andrews

            Thanks, I’ll have an update soon…

  4. Margaret

    Sounds great and I am very grateful to you for being someone who cares. Please advise me of further information.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks for the feedback Margaret. I’ll be arranging some details on my end, but I should have a registration page ready by the beginning of next week.

      Reply
  5. Els Sarens

    your plans for group coaching : OK

    Are you still planning an online course?

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Yes! The outline is in the video. Did you have a chance to watch it? I’ll have more info next week.

      Reply
      • Els

        Thank you, Clay, I am on the look-out for your info next week on this online course.

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Thanks Els. I’m putting the details together today…!

          Reply
  6. Ryan

    Clay, after going through the Ex-Solutions Program, I always felt that getting a bit more personalized insight from you because my situation was so different than the situations I would read about on Modern Love. I’m happy that you are open to doing coaching. I think it will be a huge help to many people. All my best!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks so much Ryan. Now that things are finally starting to settle down and we’re getting adjusted to life with a baby, I really am excited to jump back into coaching and providing more personal attention. Thanks for your feedback!

      Reply
    • Andrea

      This is great, is there a chance to just have some of the course, as I’m at a point where my ex and I are regularly meeting, but he’s in a rebound. So I don’t need no contact or damage control, I need support in the rest!

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Thanks for your interest Andrea. I’ll be posting an update tomorrow.

        Reply
  7. Sue

    Hi Clay –
    I have watched/listened to the ESP and CC courses – some modules more than once!
    I read Tammy’s last paragraph and your response with interest as I feel that should be my focus as well – determining if pursuing a relationship with an ex is the best option.
    Thank you for posting your videos. Your philosophy on relationships makes the most sense of all the others on the Internet.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Sue. Thanks for the comment. Yeah, that is one of the first things I want to address in this course… and if it turns out your ex isn’t the right person for you, I want to get you on the right track to healing and moving on.

      Reply
  8. John

    So based on what you come up with on cost, will there be a payment plan option? I have priced out other coaches prior to join MLA and their fees were a bit out of my price range.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks for the feedback John. I’ll see what we can put together in terms of payment plans…

      Reply
  9. Katie

    Hey Clay, very excited to be apart of this experience 🙂 two questions/comments:

    1) Is ESP going to be required as a prerequisite before coaching? It seems the curriculum for the group coaching will be similar. I was leaning towards signing up for group coaching (because I assume it is cheaper than 1 on 1) however, I worry that I won’t get enough out of the group coaching since I have already been through ESP, have a pretty good grasp on the ARS and am currently at the crisis point. I realize this coaching will be more in depth than ESP but still seems like it may be somewhat repetitive. Have you thought about having different courses for people in different stages? (I realize this probably isn’t realistic for this time around but maybe in the future?) Do you think it would be fair to offer a discount to ESP members?
    2) I like that you’re allowing this graduating class to stay in the future courses, I think this could be beneficial, especially on the FB group, because people who have been through these courses can offer advice to the new comers (kind of like how the MLA operates). Just to clarify, the people signing up for 1 on 1 coaching still get to stay in the future classes too, right?

    Like I said, I’m in the crisis point and I know this is such a critical time to really step up my ARS and I think this coaching could really get me to where I want to be, new beginnings!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Katie, thanks for the feedback. I can tell you put a lot of thought into this. I really want to do right by the current students and members of ESP and the MLA. I just need to figure out the best possible way to do that…

      Reply
  10. Anastasia

    Hi Clay, Thanks for all the info! This seems like a pretty good offering! I’m interested for sure. Looking forward to more info and updates! 🙂

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Anastasia, thanks for the feedback. I’ll be able to share and post an update probably next week.

      Reply
  11. Tanner

    I’m on board with this. And I could really use some one on one, because my ex situation is really unique, and I’ve actually stumped several other counselors with it.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks for letting me know Tanner. I should have an update by next week.

      Reply
  12. Madison

    Hi Clay!
    I’ve looked at other courses and I really believe I hit the jackpot when I found you. I think that regardless if I get my ex back or not, your lessons will provide me with great information and support for any relationship that may occur in the future. Keep doing what you’re doing, I know many of us are incredibly thankful to stumble onto your site!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks so much for the kind words, Madison!

      Reply
  13. Michelle

    Hey Clay!

    Very happy that this is really coming to life. I am extremely interested but my question is how will you narrow down the registrations? Not sure how many people you are taking for the first class but I guess I’m just worried that with the time difference and all (I’m on the east coast) that maybe I might be at an unfair advantage? Just curious about how you’re going to narrow down all the potential students for the first class.

    Thanks as always and if you’ve already mentioned this, my apologies.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Michelle, I really don’t know how many people would sign up, but if there are “too many” I may have to break it up into two separate groups or “cohorts” so that each group has a close community feel and so that each group coaching session doesn’t become too crowded.

      Reply
  14. Hannah

    I really like the format you have written out, and the inclusion of a one-on-one call even in the group coaching.
    With the weekly sessions for exaple week one being about understanding where they are at emotionally (essentially like the main ESP program) will there be any differences or more in depth information for those who already have gone through all main ESP info for a while?

    Cant wait to hear more info on it next week!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hannah, the current ESP course was made back in 2015, and even though I still stand by everything in the course, I do continuously learn and develop better, easier-to-understand, and more effective ways of communicating things. I really hope to improve on what the current (2015) course has to offer.

      Reply
  15. Alice

    Omg!!! Ever since I started watching you I’ve honestly been wanting a private session! Excited to see how this turns out! (Hopefully I can afford!)

    Reply
    • Alice

      I would also like to add Discord is one of the best platforms for communicating over the internet!!

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Hmmm… I’ll check that out. Thanks for the tip.

        Reply
        • Maria

          I am interested in private e-mail correspondation. I am also interested in the Facebookgroup. I think calls might be difficault since we have different timezoons.

          Reply
          • Clay Andrews

            Hi Maria, I’ll be posting details tomorrow… But don’t worry about time zones. I’ve worked with people all over the world before… Plus I never sleep anymore now that I have a baby 😉

      • Rahul Raut

        Hello Clay

        I am.so excited that you are doing a one on one coaching. My situation is very unique and I promise you have never had this encounter before. I am very much looking forward to the coaching session. Can you please brief me once you finalize the private one on one coaching sesssions

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Thanks Rahul, I’ll be releasing the details tomorrow 🙂

          Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Alice, thanks for the enthusiasm. I should have something ready to offer next week.

      Reply
  16. Misty

    Let. Me know Clay! I’m 💯 in! ♥
    Misty

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks so much for your enthusiasm Misty! I’ll post an update tomorrow.

      Reply
  17. Rachael

    Hi Clay, Thanks for this wonderful opportunity! I’ve just driven down to sunny Wales, UK and saw this. My situation is really unique and think that all your insights so far at the best I have ever read. You are so kind to do this too. Thanks for everything!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Rachael, thanks for your interest. I’ll post an update tomorrow. Hope you had a pleasant trip to Wales!

      Reply
  18. Kim H

    Clay,
    I would LOVE to be included as I am still at a loss with trying to get my man back. This would be a fantastic opportunity to really be able to ask you questions privately and openly vs being on a public forum. What a wonderful idea!!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Kim. Thanks for the interest. I’ll be posting an update tomorrow.

      Reply
  19. Robert

    Sounds like a great deal, too late for me as my ex has moved on but maybe there’s some stuff I could learn from it, so I’m interested.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks for your interest Robert. I’m sorry that your ex has moved on, but hopefully you can use your situation as an opportunity to start a new, better chapter in your life.

      Reply
  20. Starry

    Very cool! I especially like the ability to switch gears to another type of class. I joined ESP a while back, but although I love my ex, I don’t know that we can really have the kind of relationship I want.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Starry. Thanks for supporting us through joining ESP. I’m sorry that things don’t look very good for you and your ex. But hopefully, you’ve taken the situation as a powerful learning experience to have a better and stronger relationship in the future.

      Reply
  21. Cindy Carlos

    Clay,

    Thanks for helping me and many people.

    Reply
  22. Rochelle

    Your offer is amazing — a pioneering venture for those who seek help towards self improvement. While i am interested in the program, i Am not much of a techie though and wonder if i can be able to participate actively using this plstform. I am from the Philippines.

    Reply
    • Gem

      Hi Clay

      It’s wonderful to see that you finally going ahead with the coaching and the different classes you are offering- so many people read your books and courses but always helps by bouncing off ideas with the actual coach 😉

      Just a couple of notes:

      1. Since many people have expressed interest will you be having one group class based on total nr of registrations or will you split them out into groups of 20-40 people? Just wondering if there is an optimal nr of attendees for enough time to q and a during class or whether this will be ‘silent class’ – people submitting questions remotely and you answering ?

      Also how long will each lesson be? 30mins with 30mins q and a?

      2. I do agree with Kate regarding splitting up based on different stages tho I understand that this may be a later offering. This could be for people who have spent some time already getting out of DCM and not still fresh from a break-up – people who are still on that terrible phase of getting to accept and moving through all those horrible painful first emotions of rejection and abandonment and still take some time to get out DCM.

      3. Is there a possibility of segregating class for people who are forced to see their ex’s post break up? Ie, live with or work with or share kids together? I know you covering this as lesson 7 but I feel the nuances across us lot of people are just very different for eg the DCM mode and healing one has to do while similar to those who don’t have to see their ex’s are much more nuanced and different because healing cannot be down with complete anc or not seeing the ex at all? It may even have to entail more hurtful processes of instituting legal ending of marriages which again the nuances of healing there is much different to someone you don’t have to see ever again while you are going through anc?

      Ok just some thoughts and ideas!

      All the best and looking forward to seeing your offerings 😉

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Hi Gem, thanks for the thoughtful comments. As far as what you brought up:

        1. No, this will not be a silent class. I’ll be talking with people directly (once I finish testing out some software and find the best one for us). I prefer to do it this way, since it’s easier to get clarity on some of the details. When people just submit questions, they sometimes leave out important information it’s hard to provide meaningful advice without all the details.

        The lessons will be as long as they need to be, but I won’t “pad” them to make them longer than they need to be either. And the Q&A will go as long as that needs to go too… but I’m hoping that it will be around one or two hours tops…

        2 and 3. In terms of splitting the class, it really depends on how many people register. Obviously it probably wouldn’t make sense to split the class up if only a small number of people sign up, but if there are a large number of people who are dealing with different things, then that is a realistic possibility.

        Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Rochelle, thanks for the comment. Yeah, this should probably be quite easy from a tech stand point. I haven’t figured out exactly how we’re going to be doing everything, but I imagine if you can log into a website such as Facebook, you will be just fine 🙂

      Reply
  23. Jane Bowden

    Great Vides Clay, courses sound great and I love the sound of what you are thinking. However, I’m in the uk, I’m not sure how this would work for me with time differences etc. I feel like you would be able to help me sort out the mess that is my relationship right now.
    Thanks

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Jane. Don’t worry, I’ve worked with people from the UK and other parts of the world before, so time difference will likely not be an issue.

      Reply
  24. Sudha

    Hey Clay , good work there ! I was just wondering about the weekly call . Is it possible if I’m from Asia ?

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Yeah most likely, we’ll have to coordinate to find a time that works well, but time zones have never been an issue in the past.

      Reply

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