The Secret To Getting A Fresh Start With Your Ex

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Here’s an email I got from a subscriber of this newsletter:

Hey guys,

I don’t even know where to begin, I am so shocked. Today my ex contacted me. He was asking a lot of questions and I took my time replying but when I did I kept it short and sweet but polite. Suddenly he started texting me like a he use to when we just started dating. 

He just sent me a message again asking if he can see me tomorrow night but almost like he was scared I would say no. I said since he was asking so nicely I will see him tomorrow and just like a school boy with a crush he said: ” YES!!! can’t wait. xx”

I was not expecting this at all.

So I would like to thank the main brain behind this, Clay, I watched so much of your videos and well I have to say it was time well spent and I learnt so much. I would do it all over again.

Job well done guys.

Keep up the good work


First of all, Anandi, thanks for taking the time to write in.

I really appreciate hearing from readers.

Anyway, it sounds like you’re making good progress with your ex.

The Most Important Thing to

Focus on with Your Ex

At this point, the most important thing for you to focus on is having a great emotional connection with him in the present moment.

One of the biggest mistakes that I’ve seen people make once they get in contact with their ex or get that first or second date, is that they become “relationship focused.”

That is to say that they try to get their ex to commit to a relationship, put a label on the two of you (being boyfriend and girlfriend, etc.), or otherwise, focus on the outcome. 

This isn’t what you want to do because right now, you and your ex need to rebuild the connection that you’ve got before the two of you will be able to get to this point.

The most important thing you can do is to simply have a great time together WITHOUT worrying about “where this is going.”

Think of It Like Dating Again

You don’t try to force someone to be your boyfriend or girlfriend on the first date.

You take time to get to know each other and build a track record of great experiences together.

THEN, you commit to one another.

That’s how it works when you’re getting back together with your ex too.

So, how do you do that?

Well, you’ve got to focus on making the interactions between you and your ex feel good.

Improving the Connection with Your Ex

The best way I know of to make that happen is to work on the Advanced Relational Skills that I’ve outlined in the Ex Solution Program course.

These skills work to help you build those positive connections with your ex so that the two of you can have a strong foundation for a budding new relationship.

You might find the two of you laughing together, sharing together, loving together.

Hours may even seem to slip by without either of you even really noticing.

Sound good?

If so, then you might want to check out the Ex Solution Program course.

You can learn more or sign up right over here.


PS: Thanks again for writing in Anandi, and keep me updated on how things are going.

Looking for Help Saving a Relationship?

Tell me a little more about your situation and I’ll send you advice, tips, and strategies to help you get started saving your relationship or getting your ex back today.

1 Comment

  1. Tya

    My boyfriend and I have been togeher for almost 4 years. We met as soon as he left high school. We met at college he was 18 at the time and I was 20. Been togeher since. I got my dream job on 2017 which meant I have to leave he country and travel. We were doing long distance we were both committed. I cheated but he forgives me. However he now wants to seek other girls and see what it’s like to be with other girls since he’s never had that besides one other girl in high school and me. My ex has always been curious even in the relationship.
    My ex and I had a very strong and amazing connection it was very very hard, sad and beautiful this breakup. Overall he turned around and said he wanted to stay in contact and he said he believes we will be togeher etc. I’m currently still working overseas and go home every few months. I want to continue my dream job for the next 2-3 years. My ex won’t commit to long distance again now since I’ve cheated. How is it even possible to salvage a relationship 2-3 years down the track when I finish my dream
    Job. He could be with someone else by then.

    I did everything in my power to make amends for this relationship I travelled across the other side of the world to go hike for a week just for him and offered to quite my job for him. But he still didn’t want me and wants to explore other girls. We haven’t spoken since I came back to work which has been almost a month.

    I want another chance with him a clean slate but that can’t happen for at least 2-3 years. I just don’t know what I can do now to possible maximize my chances I don’t know what I should be doing or what I can do to make things in my favor and give my ex and I our best possible chances.

    Thank you


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Looking for Help Saving a Relationship?

Tell me a little more about your situation and I’ll send you advice, tips, and strategies to help you get started saving your relationship or getting your ex back today.

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