Member ExperiencesReal Experiences & Successes From Our Members
Great relationships don’t happen on romantic dates with candles and flowers. Great relationships happen in the small moment to moment choices we make or refuse to make on a daily basis.
2016 Update :
In working weekly with Clay and Mika, I derived a greater sense of who I am, what I value, and most importantly, being ok with me as a person.
There were moments during our sessions that I would experience doubt or be overwhelmed emotionally by the fact that I didn’t feel confident enough that I could get my ex back or that it was ok to be myself. Clay and Mika gave me challenges weekly that pushed me out of my comfort zone to help me learn that it was ok to be who I am, to ask for what I wanted, and to be genuinely me. This taught me to be ok with being vulnerable with people.
Now, I have a much easier time being open with others, expressing myself without fear of judgment, being ok with who I am, conveying what I want, and committing to my values and in turn, my boundaries. I feel much stronger and confident. I feel ok and at peace with who I am. As for my ex and I, I am now able to focus on the connection rather than on what is wrong with me or on the relationship. This has contributed greatly to building a better connection with him and those whom I care about deeply.
Spring 2017 Update:
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in touch. I think last time we checked in, I was a bit frustrated with how slowly things were moving with Greg. Wellll, a lot has happened since then.
After many months of taking it slow, and talking through our values, our wants,our fears, and life paths, Greg proposed to me! We’ll be getting married in July sometime and moving to Tanzania together shortly afterward. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you both for your support and guidance through this all.
It wasn’t easy and certainly made me dig deeply inside myself to figure out what my values really are, my boundaries and how to communicate these to my partner, how to be ok with being vulnerable, and how to focus on the process rather than on the outcome, etc.
My relationship is different because I now have the tools I need to be loved for who I am and to address issues when they arise in a way that is constructive to building closeness rather than divisiveness. Thank you so much for your commitment to making others’ lives better and for the time you gave me in coaching, through your courses, podcasts, and Q&As.
August 1, 2017 Wedding Update
Just wanted to send along a photo of Greg and I on our wedding day this past Saturday! Thanks to you and Clay for being part of our journey and giving us the tools to make our relationship stronger and fulfilling. Much love, NathalieNathalie L., Washington D.C
When you decide to work directly with Clay and Mika through Personal Coaching, you will discover so much about yourself! Approach this with a serious mindfulness and willingness to feel and grow. The focus of getting your ex back is but one facet of yourself as a person, and of your whole life. They provide an atmosphere of genuine caring, laced with light and humor, while holding us accountable to our thoughts and actions. There is homework and much self-reflection. All good things! It was a healing, growth experience for me. Mika and Clay were able to connect with me, even though I live on the other side the world from them, have a different lifestyle, am in a different age bracket, etc. The knowledge and skills honed from their professional and personal experiences are really helping me become the person I am meant to be. Bottom line: this is time, money, and effort well spent. Oh, yeah. They also have a great sense of humor. You’ll have fun, too!Heather J., North Carolina, United States
I live in Canada and my husband left for the Philippines where he found the woman and lived with her for about a year. He said they broke up several times during the year they were together and just knew it will never work. We are now carefully planning our getting back together and we both agreed it will not be the same relationship he walked out of. Believe me I learned a lot from you and can never thank you enough. What a comfort you are to me during my darkest hours. I thought how can this young couple have so much wisdom? Keep up the good work and thank you again. I feel that you are sincere in wanting to help others.Beth D., Canada
Hi, everyone! So, I’m thinking it’s time to take my leave. I got my ex back using this program a month ago, and I’m thinking it’s time for me to sign off for now. Thanks for all your help, and to everyone out there trying to get their ex back, know that it’s all mind over matter. You can make it happen for you (I made it happen in three months).Kay K.
I wanted to write to you to express my gratitude. My ex and I had been together for 1.5 years and living together for a 1 when he decided that he just couldn’t do it anymore and moved out. I was devastated and all my friends told me to just move on, but I knew that we had a connection I had never experienced before and that we really were meant to be together. I have been focusing on the emotional connection with my ex and more importantly finding happiness and success for myself. I am so grateful that I can write to you today to say that we are back together and our love feels more connected and stronger than ever. Thank you so much for your honestly and focus on being active and not playing bullshit mind games. I have learned so much about how to build a healthy lasting relationship from you, and I plan to continue to read your newsletter to remind me how to continue to keep our relationship strong. Thank you!Nareena S.
I was part of this course, part of the online support group. Eventually I became a poor student and had to cancel my membership…but I did get my ex back!!Cameron A.
It took me a year to get back together. My success was due to learning the skills and focusing on the connection only, despite of all my odds that were:
- we spoke only by email
- we live in different continents
- he was on a rebound relationship
- he said he didn’t love me anymore
- we had broken up twice
We are back together it’s been a month now and as he still works in another continent, he will change his residency from another country to my country and we will live together when he is on vacation, which happens every month and a half. From when I started learning the relational skills and putting it into practice, it took 8 months, the other 4 months I was doing the wrong things….so we were one year apart I am sharing with a grateful heart and my advice is: work in yourself, we absolutely need to change ourselves acquiring those skills in order to be ready! many fields in my life were also improved by it. I understand now the step back ( our breakups) was just to help me to jump higher!Lili B.
After getting back together back in August, we are working it out very well and growing a healthy and strong relationship. I’m back home and that makes me very happy – I’m thankful for the service and support I receive from you guys, I learned a lot, very valuable facts and tips. I would like to cancel my service with MLA starting next month, again thank you ! Happy Holidays RudyRudy
Hi Clay, Mika and Francis, Today I would like to share a success story. Feel free to share. After breaking up 5 months ago to be with my best friend, my ex is now talking about getting back together. Yep, hit the stage of New Beginnings in such a short amount of time. He is in the process of breaking up with his rebound, liking it to a drug addict quitting an addiction and going through withdrawal symptoms. He asked for my support during this difficult time. Even though it is hard and he still likes her he said the relationship cannot go on because he cannot stop thinking about me while he is with her. That the reasons why we broke up were easily fixable. And that he can tell me anything, but does not feel the same towards her. There were points where I thought the odds were against me. It sounded like his rebound naturally had advanced relational skills and that was something that drew him to her. I felt like an amateur competing with a pro. I almost gave up. The turning point was vulnerability. I suppressed emotions a lot while we were together and even during our break up. Recently I let him know exactly how I’ve been feeling and that I was afraid I would push him away by being real. He let me know that ignoring him and pretending to be happy is what was pushing him away and he is glad that I finally started opening up.
As I opened up so did he. And as I became aware of my own emotions I was able to read his. From this experience and going through the ARS course I learnt that you really need to understand things from your ex’s perspective and realise what you were doing that pushed them away in the first place. It took me a while to realise that vulnerability and composure was the most important part of the course for me. Coincidentally (or not) that was the part I watched the least amount of times because it made me feel uncomfortable. In hindsight that is the biggest clue that that would be the key to my success. The moment I opened up and did not care whether or not I was saying the right thing is when everything accelerated. Thanks to the team. The advice in your course is definitely a lot better than the terrible tricks out there and I am glad I stumbled onto your website. I truly think I would not have gotten this far otherwise. Thanks again, AndreaAndrea C.
I would like to let you that I got together with my ex. It happened like 2 weeks ago. Actually we decided to move in together and I know that he’ s thinking to propose. I’ m sorry I couldn’t write you immediately but I was really excited as you guess. I really want to thank you and clay and to all your team. The system really helped me about not feeling alone, motivating about getting back together, thinking positively about my relationship, and learning new and common things about relationships or being all the relationships similar to each other. Clay was telling us very true reasons and conclusions and techniques. I knew most of them by my experiences and observations but for me learning that it’ s a life-fact and all people are almost same or thinking almost same or there are some techniques for this situation really surprised me. I’ve learned new things that they will be useful for all the rest of my life as well. I really thank you all , and I really want to be in touch with you. If it’ s possible I would like clay’ s mails not to stop. So I can learn more things day by day. Also you can be sure that I won’ t stop to listen the videos again and again to keep in mind. My one month of MLA is expired so where can I share our success? I’ d like to write it as just I wrote youAyse Gulin H.
When we saw each other, it felt like time has not passed. We talked over dinner and I was in a good place. He told me that he has been dating around and has yet to find someone like me. As we walked to his car, I was nervous and I knew that I need to keep it cool. J. opened the car door for me and we sat in his car for a while. He kept telling me he wanted to date me again just for fun and I said well I am not that girl. He kissed me but I knew that he was lying to me, he still loved me. I could tell by his body language. I told him your in love with me still and you won’t admit it.
We hung out the last couple of times and it was nice but one night he came to my neck of the woods and told me he loved me and that he wants to be with me… J. told me he will make sure not to hurt me again and be present in my life as he should have been. I told him I can live without you but I don’t want to. We are together but there is no title yet because we are taking it really slow. I noticed how mature he is now and doesn’t get jealous as easy anymore. I’m not as clingy, we don’t talk everyday or hang out everyday but there is enough communication where I know where we stand. J. told me he knows I am the one and still wants to marry me when the time is right.Angie C.,
Just wanted to let you know that I got back together with my ex! I waited for her to contact me and we met face to face. I used the techniques I had been practicing and we had a good long chat about everything. At the end of the day she realised that she loved me more than she ever has before and within a week we were back together, stronger than before! Thank you all so much for this program, it has been the reason that my heart is now full with love again! Yours extatically, Martin xMart P.
I am writing to tell you that, after 6 months and a half following your advice to the letter, I got my ex back! Here is a little feedback and my own success story, feel free to publish it on your website if you want to. Yesterday night, as my ex held my hand, told me I was the only woman he ever wanted to be with, and asked me to go back with him, my thoughts went to you and your program.
THANK YOU so much for making this possible. Your newsletter, podcasts, videos, and classes have not only provided with much precious advice, but also kept me hopeful and positive. Finding Clay’s emails in my mailbox everyday meant so much for me. When I was feeling sad, and it seemed to me that mine was a lost cause, watching Clay’s videos gave me endless confidence and motivation. After six months and a half of patience and commitment, I got my ex back! With much, much gratitude.Boonyi K.
Just to let you know… I’m back together with my ex! I had already reconnected a little before Christmas. I joined your site and did the communication work…. and boy, did it do the trick! Being empathetic, letting him know that it was imperative to be FRIENDS in order to communicate together, has really made the difference. He told me ‘I don’t know what it is that you are saying are doing, but I looked at you, heard what you said, and my life has changed’. In the past, he never told me he loved me. And now… he’s saying it! Thank you so much for all you are teaching!Anne., France
Things went fantastic. We were laughing and joking like old times. Eventually he brought up that he thinks he can tell that I’d like to try things again and he’s okay with that as long as we take it slowly and let things happen on their own time. I know that I’m not nearly finished working on myself and my relationship (and we never really are, are we?), but I’m so glad to have gotten here and I owe all of you my thanks and gratitude. This will be a long journey for my ex and I, but I’m excited to see where it takes me.Kelly W.
MY EX AND I ARE BACK TOGETHER AND IT FEELS GREAT. I am so thankful for what this program has done not only for my relationship, but for my entire life. I wouldn’t have made it out of that break up as well as i did if it wasn’t for the support of the community and all the advice from Clay, Mika, Francis, and Rashmi. I am beyond blessed to have had so much help and support in such a dark time in my life. I will continue to be active in the community and work hard on my relationship for as long as possible. I know tough times are still ahead and we have to continue to work on things, but he is so worth it.Samantha H.
Hi Clay, Just a quick note to let you know that your program saved my relationship. I followed your program to the T. I definitely had to challenge myself with some of your steps. The no contact, changing my thought process and becoming the person I was when we met and a personal choice to start a new relationship in lew of going back to where we were when I left him.
I also had to choose to forgive him and he had to forgive me and let the past go. Once I made it past “that wall” you spoke about in your lessons. It didn’t happen overnight. We split up in April and no contact for 7 very long weeks. We start with a few texts, then a few phone calls. We finally seen each other in August and kept in contact. Finally in September he invited me to go back to our home in NC from Florida and it is brand new for us. When we finally decided to let the past go. I understand it’s still new but we’ve been able to put everything out on the table maturely and decided those things weren’t worth losing all the good things we do have together.
We are both over 50 yrs old. We may never find this again. He is once again comfortable telling me things, the jealousy is gone, we once again laugh and joke around. I cannot thank you enough!Tammy C.,
We were broken up for 4 months before I joined. The tables turned and I wasn’t sure I wanted to be with him after all of it. He had to prove to me that things would be different this time and that we would work through the issues we had before and only then did we decide return as a couple. Now we are going through pre-marital counseling and planning to marry next year already! Don’t give up. Follow through the program. Yes, it will be hard and painful at times, but trust the process and it’ll pay off.
UPDATE: Her ex became her husband in summer of 2015 and they both welcomed a handsome baby boy in the Spring of 2017Faye C.
I went from a seemingly impossible situation to being reunited with my girlfriend. Considering that I now have the woman of my dreams back in my life, the money I invested in this coaching program was worth every penny.
Mika and Clay are passionate about helping people get back together and supporting their clients. Their advice was spot-on. Without it, I would have never gotten back together with my girlfriend. We are now talking about the possibility of getting married.
UPDATE: Stephen’s ex became his wife in the summer of 2014
You and everyone else in the online support group has helped me so much along my journey, but I am happy to say that my ex and I are officially back together! I don’t think I ever would have been able to accomplish it without everything I learned about composure and empathy and everything else in the program.Rachel C.,
The program really helped sooth the storm of uncertainties and doubts that I had about my situation. It helped me understand my part to play in the breakup in addition to understanding my own feelings and the reasons behind them. The personal coaching program came with the Passion Program and it taught me invaluable lessons about relationships, not just with a partner, but with others around me. Through personal coaching, you guys really helped me open a new channel of communication with my ex, our conversations became deeper and I was better able to respond to her rather than react. On a couple occasions, what I thought were overwhelmingly negative circumstances were interpreted differently by you guys as very positive, allowing me to see situations in a different light. An example was when my ex was blaming me for the cause of her sadness, you guys explained to me that it was a positive sign that she continues to feel so strongly about me. After just 4 months, my ex did pop the get back together question.Evan S., Costa Rica
I was a customer of yours about a year ago. Thank you for your program. After the break up you helped me see that my relationship with my now husband could be much stronger than it was before. I continue to see the potential fir growth in any difficulty I face with my spouse. What you gave me was a perspective change. Because of you, my husband and I are expecting a new baby boy on Oct. 5th. Because of your help, there is a new life coming into the world where as during the break up things looked like a disaster.Jennifer T.
It’s been amazingly supportive to be a part of through a really tough few months for me. Thank you to you & everyone for your advice. It really was such a help to be able to be open and honest with questions when I felt so confused. And having such clear perspectives given by others gave me real peace and positive direction. And it all worked! My husband had moved home and we have a new open hearted relationship, things are better than ever. Thank you to you, Clay, Mika and the team. What a wonderful, positive and life changing experience I’ve had through ESP.Emma Z.
I’m happy to say that my ex and I are finally working things out thanks to your amazing program. All the personal growth that I have gone through in the process has helped me feel a sense of ownership in my life and has helped me communicate with people overall more effectively. Thank you!!! We are back in a relationship and things are better than ever. In fact, we are currently looking for our dream house to live in. Which brings me to my main reason for this email. I hate to have to go, but I need to shut down my online support group membership monthly expense.Jason M.
Hello, its been 6 months since my wife left, its been a tuff time especially the first weeks and months. The course provided me with everything i needed to understand where my relationship had gone wrong and gave excellent techniques on how to bring the person back into my life. Some of the techniques seemed counter intuitive to start with but the more i applied them the more i noticed that they were really working. I’m now back on good speaking terms with my ex, we enjoy each others company and it feels like we are building something positive, its not romantic yet but she has been confiding in me about her rebound relationship and telling me that its not working and she misses the things we did together when she is with him. She told me she wants to break it off with him and is giving positive signs that there might be a future for us. Thanks for all the resources and support – its a really great course that i would recommend to without hesitation.Jean
I just got a phone call that shocked me big time. A. called me today on my lunch break and said she has been thinking and she wants us to work on US. She admitted that she has been being mean and holding back how she really feels about me because she was hurt and she wanted to have her own way, but she sees that I really want us to work and that I always have her back. She said that she never should have left and that she should have stuck it out with us and that what happened between us didn’t have to cause us to break up. She asked me if I would take her back… WOW! she asked me that. I still cant believe what she just said to me. I told her I want to take it slow because I don’t want us to fall apart again but I do want a chance for us to get it right. I just want all of you to know that a change can come and that I was a person who dealt with a ex that did everything they could to make me feel bad push me away and make me feel they never loved me but i see now that deep down that was just a cover up. I still want to continue working on my ARS because I know they will better help me understand the issues between A. and I. I still feel like IM dreaming but i will still take it one step at a time. I want to continue to be here for the group because you all are like my family that was there fr me when I was lost. Im here for you guys too. This is a great step and I want to continue to grow.Yella B.
Hi Clay, Mika and the team! I am ecstatic to let you guys know that after over a year of being broken up I finally got my ex back! It was an extremely tough journey at times but i am so thankful for you guys and the program. I don’t think i could have done it without your amazing advice and help of the MLA. As i talked things through with my ex at crisis point, everything he said truly matched how you guys explained their emotions through the process. And thanks to the program I’ve grown so much as a person and he definitely noticed, it showed him that things truly can work out. Through the program I also feel like i made some great friends along the way! You guys really helped make the process an amazing experience looking back on it. I still have a long way to go in self improvement of course. And still definitely plan to keep practicing the challenges and ARS. 😉 But i just wanted to say thank you guys so much!Hannah N.
I followed the advice from your books and I am happy to say I got my ex boyfriend back. We broke up our 4 year relationship last year. A few days ago he held my hand and said he wanted to give us another try. I went from being someone who didn’t emotionally connect well with others to now someone who is the complete opposite of that. I have been using the ARS so well to the point where he said he noticed I’ve changed. He even said I am the only one who understands his life struggles. It definitely took a while to get my ex boyfriend back but I am happy we are starting a new relationship together. I like that your books teaches us how to get our ex back without falling into mind game advice. Keep up the great work! Sincerely, AshleyAshley H.
Your voice, lessons, and messages have been what has gotten me on where on at now. Break up was be back in June; now we’re spending more and more time together, and strengthening the connection that she even confesses is worlds beyond anything she’s ever felt with anyone else. But your message of positivity; and using your rationale to address and communicate your wants and feelings with ARS has been beyond helpful throughout all this. On days when I feel down, I try to identify what ARS lesson applies to what to what I feel; then I hit up that lesson, and I’m good to go afterwards. Your program is one of the absolute best investments I’ve ever made. Enjoy your holiday Bro! Regards, TeeZatiti C.
I am Canadian and 75 years old..I felt need of advice even though both my b friend and I are well educated and have had a few partners before.I joined your 2 programs and your basic sensible advice turned an unstable romance of 18 months not a peaceful loving respectful romance . Even just me following your program had a great impact on both of us. Thank you. Bythe way my partner is 72 so never say never.It is all about the emotional connectedness as you always hammer in your program.Very impressed with your insights and lack of superficiality in your program and you are so young to have this approach. Always have to refresh though as bad habits hard to break.Mary Jane
Wish I could afford MLA. Had to cancel for financial reasons. My ex and I are officially back together 🙂 -KarinKarin
Thank you Clay, Mika and team, Got my ex back and I really owe it to yes my hard work but under the amazing advise of all of you! A year of struggles, tears, heartbreaking moments, etc. The number one reason I was persistent is because i believed the rebound was the wrong person for my ex and it was bound to end eventually.
Nevertheless my ex fell in love with her but this entire year we stayed close a lot and i followed Clay’s advise and i was able to continuously build a connection that became very strong. Since October it has been a gradual shift of my ex realizing the rebound was wrong for him and after all is said and done he is feeling closer and closer to me emotionally again and stronger than ever before! I find him often sweetly looking at me in the eyes and telling me so much how he feels about me just with his eyes! Not all is perfect yet and time will determine our future together mainly because of differences in how we want to spend the rest of our lives. He wants to retire in a few years and move to a very cold area where he has a property and I have no plans to retire from my local business here since it is my source of income now and in the future and I like living in S California where the weather is great and I have a network of friends and outdoor activities i am engaged in. Nothing is defined yet about the future but we are both aware of this situation and time will tell what will happen.
Regardless I am a stronger person now and know that regardless of what the future brings there is always a New Beginning to chase after. In the meantime being together now feels right. We are starting to be really happy together here, he loves where we live now and who knows maybe he will stay. Thank you Clay and Mika! -GGG.G.
Hey Clay and Mika, I just wanted to drop you guys a quick email to inform you of some great news. Abi and I are officially back together! Thank you so much for all your help and guidance throughout these 7 long months. When I look back, I couldn’t have imagined we’d be back together but applying what you teach – It happened. Truly inspirational. Thanks!Sam W.
For all of those out there losing hope, keep on fighting. Keep your head up and really give it your all. Don’t be afraid to take extra time for ANC or to post on the forum to ask for help. Amazing things will come to those who put in the effort.I am one who got back together with my ex… We had a very tender moment where he was able to tell me (with a few tears of gratitude) that he was so grateful for a second chance with me after making such a horrible mistake. We are doing well and I’m still able to practice acceptance and awareness and remain in the moments when we are together.
A quote I like: “A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this environment. Keep your doors and windows open. If the person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world, will not make them leave. Trust that truth.”
I’ve adopted this truth into my thinking. I also have made this my personal mantra if you will and I find it so important in this unique situation of being back together with B and moving forward: I’m letting go of what was (the old relationship) and accepting what is (where things are in the process in the NOW, being present) and I’m hopeful for what will be (the new relationship and what’s coming).
I know a lot of you are really hurting. Stick with the program. What you’ll get (the ex back is just the icing in the cake) is a stronger and healthier YOU!! Blessings all!
Update: Lisa’s ex became her fiancee they both plan to be married in August of 2017Lisa S., Washington
Could you please post my success story in the online support group? I’m hoping this will be a source of encouragement for everyone in the community: Last night my ex asked if he could come over because he really wanted to see me. I reluctantly agreed.
The second I opened the door, he walked in without saying a word, grabbed me and picked me up, then said, “I’m still in love with you.” My heart jumped out of my chest! I couldn’t believe it was happening, especially after I’d given up on the idea of reconciliation because it seemed impossible at that point.
I honestly owe it all to active no contact. Time away from my ex was much needed. It was so important to get “me” back. Working on ARS was equally important. It helped me communicate with my ex in a way I never thought I could. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t an easy process. And, if any of you remember, I did give up on the idea of getting back together at one point. But time allowed my ex to come around and it let me get to a healthier, more balanced place in my life.
If you feel that time away from your ex is needed, I would highly recommend it. Practice ARS whenever you can and no matter how discouraged you may feel, just remember that getting back together with your ex really can happen. So please keep your chin up. Thank you all for your support while I was a member of online support group. I will miss you all dearly.Zoe L.
My wife and I are on the road to reconciliation and we’ve been dating, hanging out together and wearing our wedding bands again. We’re in the early stages of making plans for building a house where we can all live and start afresh… Along with my faith in Christ and your private community, I was able to understand my wife’s emotions and how to respond so that I’m sensitive with her but without compromising what’s important to me was something that I had to learn in a very pragmatic and real way.Edwin M.
I am exceedingly happy to be moving on to a new relationship with my ex, now boyfriend. I won’t ever forget your support, encouragement and guidance. With many of you, I have shared a unique camaraderie which I know will continue for years to come. I now look forward to whatever life and love uncovering new and exciting experiences. I have no doubt my new relationship with my ex will add and enrich my relationship with him, with others but more importantly with myself. I deeply appreciated having this wonderful opportunity to work, grow and learn with you all.
As heart-breaking as it is to share these unfortunate circumstances, I am ever so grateful to have shared an abundance of over joyous-AND the deeply painful moments with all of you. It is important for you to know that I will treasure our ESP/online support group companionship immensely and to no end. I like to think I have extended that same sentiment to all of you. I hope that I too have had a momentous impact on all of you as well. I cannot find the words to detail the countless heartfelt moments that I will reflect on, and will sincerely miss here. In sum, I wish all of you every success and all it’s future endeavors. One last question before I say good-bye, for Clay, Mika and the ESP Team: HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU!!!?Charmaine