I Need Your Advice (PLEASE)

by | 102 comments

Note: In case you’re wondering, this is a followup to this post that I made a few days ago, which, by the way, received more of a response than I’ve seen in a very long time!

If you can’t watch this video right now, you can read the blog post below.

Okay, so a lot of people were asking about that cliffhanger at the end of that last post.

Sorry about that.

Maybe it’s too much drama from sleep deprivation (#babylife)… Or maybe it’s last minute hesitation on my part that kept me from really spilling the beans on what I had in mind…

I Feel Reluctant to Talk About This, But Here It Goes…

As you may or may not know, this whole relationship coaching thing has gotten way out of hand (in the best possible way!)

It really is a cool experience to get success stories from people who have been able to save relationships or attract and date the partner they’ve always wanted.

…But what really humbles me is when I get an update from someone I worked with a while back, and they tell me that they’re getting married… or that they’ve having a child with someone that I coached them to being in a relationship with.

It really makes me stop think about the big picture here…

And don’t get me wrong.

I can’t take credit for these people getting married or having kids.

They did all the hard work to get the relationship that they wanted.…But to think that I played a small role in setting up a major life milestone in someone else’s life is truly humbling.

A client (Stephen) on his wedding day.

So, Here’s What I’ve Been Holding Out On…

I’ve been:

  • Nicely asked…
  • Strongly encouraged…
  • Begged…
  • Pleaded with…

To start taking on personal coaching clients again.

Or at least to work with people in a closer more interactive sort of way (such as group coaching or live interactive online class of some sort).

Another client (Faye) on her wedding day. (They had a baby shortly afterward)

I’ve Resisted This for a LONG Time

As you probably know, having a baby has been an amazing and life altering experience for me.

But as someone who works from home, I really couldn’t take coaching clients with an unpredictable baby in the house who could start crying or need attention at any moment.

Plus, my wife, Mika (who is also my business partner) typically did coaching together with me (we were a team).

Since she’s so busy taking care of our daughter these days, I wasn’t sure if people would want to work with “just me.”

(The truth is that I’m not really much into small talk, and, when it comes to coaching, I tend to be pretty action-oriented, which I sometimes worry comes off as cold and uncaring, even though I actually do care quite a lot about my clients).

I love my daughter a lot, but she sure makes it hard to work from home!

That’s Not All Though…

I know that personal coaching can be limiting too, since I can really only work with a few people at a time. Plus, the cost of personal coaching can be a real obstacle for many people too.

The truth is that I’ve been feeling a pull to serve the students in our courses (you) in a deeper way.

Sure, we have the Modern Love Association and Mentorship Q&A.

And that helps.

But I’ve been sensing a disconnect in the community for a while now.

And I didn’t know what to do about it.

Until a little while a go, at least…

That’s when I had the idea of leveling up the Modern Love Association and offering a more personal group coaching experience.

Or maybe teaching some of our classes in more of an interactive sort of way to really help you take in the material and directly apply it to your life or your situation.

The truth is that I really don’t know exactly what this might look like just yet, which is the whole point of having this discussion with you… I’m hoping we can figure this out together!

Another client (Lisa) on her wedding day.

How I’m Trying to Learn from the Past

I can be a bit of a perfectionist.

(I don’t know if it means anything, but back when I was taking Psych 101 as a freshman, they gave us all a personality test, and I came back as being in the 90th percentile for perfectionism…).

So, I know that if I do this, it will be a lot of work.

So, before I go “all in” on this idea and let my perfectionism kick in and turn this idea into an energy intensive project, I want to check with you.

Is this something you would be interested in?

What do you think?

Should I do this?

I don’t even want to THINK about doing this if there isn’t any interest in this.

So, please leave a comment down below and let me know what you think.

Would you be interested in personal coaching?

How about group coaching?

Or what about some sort of interactive online course that we could do together over a few weeks with Q&A group coaching sessions?

Your feedback would mean a lot to me, and I’ll do my best to respond to each comment.

-Clay

102 Comments

  1. AGNES JOLLAIN

    The first question is: do you want to do this ? Don’t forget yourself even if you are a father 🙂

    And don’t worry too much about having people working with you alone at that moment.. 🙂

    A coach group is a good idea too

    Habibah

    (I wish you re my coach..)

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Agnes (or Habibah?), thank you! Yes, this is something I want to do, but, in a lot of ways, the past year or so has brought on massive changes for me, and it really has me thinking things through before taking action.

      Reply
    • eric

      As a successful “graduate” of ESP, and knowing that my current relationship, the most honest/loving/secure relationship I’ve ever had, would not have been possible without you, my vote would be for you to continue to try to reach the most people possible.

      I can imagine that over time you would need new challenges, and I would certainly encourage you to seek those challenges out, but I think it’s important to stay true to the core of what separates you from other relationship gurus.

      I was in a reeeeally bad place when I found your videos and then subsequently the program you put together and it literally changed my life.

      I’ll always be grateful.. wishing you the best on your journey..

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Thank you so much for sharing this Eric! But make no mistake, your relationship is the result of the work that YOU did. YOU were the one that created everything. Maybe I guided you in some way, but you took it and put it into action and got the results you were looking for.

        Reply
      • kyle

        One on one coaching would be a good idea as your program does not fit all situations and the OSG does not really provide solutions.

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Hi Kyle, I’m guessing you must have joined a long time ago, since you are referencing the Online Support Group. Thanks for the feedback and I’m trying to find a solution that will help as many people as possible with their unique situations.

          Reply
    • Gie

      Hi Clay,

      I, for one, am in need of a relationship coach and would be the very first person to sign up. I have seen psychiatrists, trying to figure out where I’m going or doing wrong with my relationship coz I seem to find myself back at square one even when I thought my bf and I are finally heading to a positive direction. It’s like one step forward and 10 steps back. With what the psychiatrists charge per hour, I’m sure I would be better off with a relationship coach like yourself. So to answer your questions, (and this is me being selfish as I’m in desperate need of a relationship coach), my vote is a definite YES!! … as for what I’ll be doing this summer, I’m heading to Sydney in a few days.. Phuket end of June, Hawaii in August, Kenya and Vanuatu in October…. 🙂

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Gie, thanks so much for your feedback. What has been your experience with psychiatrists? Just curious about this… Sounds like you’re going to do a lot of travel this year. I hope you enjoy your travels 🙂

        Reply
        • Gie

          Hi Clay,

          My sincerest apologies for the delayed response. I’ve decided to seek the help of a psychiatrist to understand myself better because no matter what I do or how much I try to change my ways, I seem to find myself back at square one and a lot of heartache and disappointments. To be honest with you, seeking the help of a psychiatrist was unfruitful. There were more questions than answers/solutions. I’ve found myself to be more depressed and always on a constant breakdown.

          Then I’ve started reading self help books about relationships, listening to podcasts. Some somewhat helped a little but what I know now is a relationship coach who understands what I’m going through and who will give feedback/suggestions.answers as to how to improve my relationship with the person I care about. For my on and off again bf to finally take notice of me and realize that I am in this for the long haul.

          So, you would truly be answering my prayers if and when you decide to get back into one on one relationship coaching. I would definitely be the first one of the first to sign up!

          Ps. Because I travel so much and my bf is on call 24/7 with his job, the quality time we spend together are few and far between…..

          Reply
          • Clay Andrews

            Gie, I’m sorry that you’ve had such a poor experience with psychiatrists. I know it can be tough when you go to someone for help, but you just end up with more problems. It looks like I definitely will be starting coaching again soon. I really appreciate your trust and your kind words. More coming soon.

  2. Tryphosa Mitoko

    Yes!!!!!!
    Especially to the group coaching and courses 😊😊😊😊

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thank you Tryphosa for your feedback. Is there a certain topic for a course that you would be most interested in? My initial thought is to start with our current courses (ESP, Compatibility Code, etc.), but if people want something different, I am open to doing that as well too.

      Reply
      • Katie

        If it is (somewhat) affordable I’m an absolutely into it!

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Katie.

          Reply
        • Alice

          I totally support this I think it would be a great idea. The only thing is some of us/possibly a lit of us just don’t have the money for coaching sessions. I could do it if it were the cost of a therapy session, so around $150 but a lot of people charge at least twice that per session. It’s just too expensive for some of us, it would be great to have a reasonable price!

          Reply
          • Clay Andrews

            Yes, I am trying to find a balance between what people can pay and what I need to do as a business owner to make this a worthwhile investment of time. Thank you for sharing.

    • Yvonne

      Clay,

      Perfection doesn’t exist, if you have searched within and this is truly something you desire to do then go for it. Like Gary John Bishop said in his book “Un**ck Yourself,” we all are wired to win. Define your game, embrace the challenge, and strive to understand yourself in deeper and more meaningful ways. Demand the greatness of yourself.

      Nothing can go wrong as long as you act out of love, kindness and compassion towards you and your potential clients, NOTHING!

      Wishing you the absolute best!!

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Thank you so much for sharing this! I may need to pick up that book…

        Reply
        • Kacie

          Hi, I have taken your ESP course which helped me a lot… For a few months. I tried to keep up with the lessons and keeping them in mind and of course hit a few obstacles and slid back to wall out/test drive (depending on the day). I feel I could really get so much out of personal or group coaching or something more interactive to help with the low points and curveballs along the way. It’s been a tough journey and one I thought was going successfully until about a month ago. I have been l going to therapy but was always being told to protect my heart and walk away which isn’t what I wanted or believed in. So it’s been an uphill battle from outside factors as well and your course, videos, this community and myself were the only pillars of support. I’d like to be able to get more out of that and find the motivation and inspiration to move forward again.

          Reply
          • Clay Andrews

            Your therapist was telling you to protect your heart and walk away? Unless there’s something I don’t understand about your situation or your ex, then that seems like really strange advice…

    • Cindy

      I love reading your articles all the time! You have a great gift, and have done amazing research. I think you should share it with people one on one. I like the idea of the coach group too!

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Cindy, thank you so much for your kind words!

        Reply
        • Alan

          Hiya Clay, after reading your comments above I think it’s obvious it’s something you want to do an will do, maybe you’ve already started by asking these questions, so let me be one of the first to say congratulations on your new projects 🍻😁. You have to at least try an see where it goes, something I’ve learnt from you Clay is if you don’t try an get what your looking for your not going to get it. I personally think you should go for it and I think it would be successful an you could help a lot more people. Group sessions would not be for me but one on one definitely, it would be great to ask you some questions. As for being a perfectionist, if your going to do something why not do it the best you can. Good look Clay, though I’m not sure you need it.
          Thank you. Alan.

          Reply
  3. Jesse

    I did interactive group coaching through weekly Skype sessions each week for about 8 weeks once. It was nice and I had a lot of insights, and it was good to be able to get instant feedback and really talk about the situation. I believe the best way to help people with situations like relationships and breakups, is by talking. It’s underestimated, but it truly helps!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      What was the group coaching experience like? How was it formatted? Asking for a friend… 🙂

      Reply
      • Jesse

        How it worked was that we arranged a time where everyone was available through a private Facebook group. On the day itself, we had a group Skype session where the coach talked about ideas, insights and examples. Participants were asked to share their experiences and their opinions and ideas. And the end of each session, we had homework to do to better digest everything that was covered during the session and to prepare for the next one. The results were shared through the Facebook group.

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Thanks for sharing that. That is kind of what I was thinking, and that is quite similar to other group coaching groups that I have participated in as well. Still it’s good to see what other people are doing and how it’s working for them 🙂

          Reply
          • Jesse

            The group that I participated in also offered one person to person Skype session to address questions and possible concerns.

          • Clay Andrews

            Oh! That’s a good idea! I might have to take that one 🙂

  4. Erin

    One on one coaching would be great! I realize that had I seen your videos before, I would not have made mistakes that led to divorce. But, here I am, and have some particular circumstances (don’t we all) that a video for a larger audience for obvious reasons does not address. I have a small family and hope it’s not too late.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Yeah, I’ve seen so many comments on my YouTube channel asking for coaching, which is what is spurring this conversation. So thanks for your feedback. I know it must be heartbreaking to think that you are losing your family. I don’t know your situation, but I’ve learned never to tell anyone that something is impossible or that it’s too late. There have been many situations over the years that I’ve seen, where I’ve privately thought to myself “there’s no way this will work out…” But then they somehow manage to make it work. What’s the main factor? As far as I can tell, it is an unwavering commitment to make things work.

      Reply
      • Erin

        Thanks so much Clay I needed that. It’s a long shot as he’s living with someone else and asking for space but I’ll try with active no contact and then working on the emotional connection and hope it’s not too late. Glad your family is doing well.

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          It’s also important to remember that the path to pretty much anything you want in life is never going to be a straightforward, linear path. There are going to be twists along the way. And if you get too caught up on that, it’s easy to lose hope and give up. That’s why it’s important to know what you want internally and to focus on that rather than the external circumstances for progress.

          Reply
  5. CJ

    YES YES YES!
    Your course (ESP), the MLA forum, and your team is great. But I really think adding this will really help many people out, definitely including myself.
    I have been a member since the end of December 2018 and I could definitely benefit from this, as I’m sure many others could too.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks CJ! (By the way, are you the same CJ that helped me out on that “secret project” last autumn? If so, I really wanted to thank you for that, once again).

      Reply
      • CJ

        Yeah it’s a pleasure! I’m so glad I could assist.

        Please let us know if you do decide to get back into this coaching. It’s been 8 months since my break up and I feel just as lost as day one.

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Yeah, I’ll be making an announcement about it next week. But just between you and me (and anyone reading this)… all signs point to “yes!”

          Reply
  6. Sherlin

    hi Clay, i really love your sincere and kind attitude to help people in their relationship, i can feel the wholeness you want to give in this business, and sure i also want to have group coaching, personal coaching.

    i don’t know how you do it, but group coaching won’t be really effective if you have a hundred or thousand of people in the group, it might end up either non stop talking (because people live in different continent, big time difference,etc) OR no talking at all (because too many people in the group, that some people won’t really talk publicly)

    or you can categorize into 10 groups or something so that it has fewer people in each group?

    anyway you won’t know when you didn’t try, but hope we can give you the best ideas. 🙂

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Sherlin, Yeah, these are some thoughts that I’ve had too. I’ve never done group coaching before, and I could imagine that if the group becomes too big that it may just descend into chaos. That’s not something I want, but maybe separating people into different “cohorts” or maybe 10 people or so might be effective. Thanks for the ideas.

      Reply
  7. Vivian

    Clay I am still “stuck” in manifesting back my marriage the way I want it to be. I would LOVE to work with you! Individually, in a group, via email – however you think it might work. I’d love to be able to share the details of my situation and hear your thoughts. I find you super-brilliant for one so young!
    P.S. I tried contacting you personally via YourTango. I wonder if you forgot about that link? The bonus was that I’m now working with them and my business is doing great!!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Vivan, thanks. Ha ha! It’s been a long time since I’ve been called “young” 🙂

      Yeah, I signed up with YourTango many years ago, but I ended my membership with them as an author, so I can’t update my contact info through their system. Sounds like you’ve had good results from using them though… Maybe I should sign up again…

      Reply
  8. Timothy OReilly

    Any coaching you would be willing to offer is fantastic. With your hectic schedule though I would suggest starting with an interactive online course. It would allow you time to spend with your newborn and time to really put the thoughtfulness into the client’s that sign up for the course. Private or Group coaching can always be done at a later time. I’m sure I speak for everyone who has your course when I say, WE ALL NOTICE YOUR PASSION AND DEDICATION TO WHAT YOU DO. I am eternally grateful and extremely fortunate to have found someone like yourself to help me.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Timothy, thank you so much for the kind words. When it comes to an interactive course, is there a specific subject you’d be interested in? My initial thought was to cover the courses that we already have (ESP, Compatibility Code, etc.), but if people are interested in some other subject (such as dating after a breakup or online dating or whatever), then that is something I am very open to.

      Reply
    • Kyle Fogle

      I wish there was a like button for comments. Because this one is fantastic!

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Ha ha! I know what you mean. I’m starting to get so use to social media, that my initial reaction is to click the “like” button!

        Reply
  9. Daniel

    Hi Clay,

    I think it’s definitely a good idea, you’d be helping a lot of people! Besides, I think that although being in frequent contact with you can be great, it’s not really necessary. In most cases, it’s not like people are going to rearrange their belief system and fix their relationship in a matter of weeks. The frequency can be very relaxed because the process is going to be slow anyway.

    In the end, what people crave is to have a guide through their journey. You can give them that while investing much less time than you probably imagine at the moment. After this time, I think I know you a bit and I agree with your observation about being a perfectionist 🙂 I know you want to be a proficient coach and that might be making you feel a lot of pressure when thinking about this. Don’t worry so much, I think people will be understanding and grateful for whatever you can give them.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thank you Daniel. Yes, I’m really starting to “get” that people are looking for a guide through the wilderness of dating and relationships more than anything else.

      Reply
  10. Els

    I think that an online course covering the ESP, the Compatibility Code … (even with a relaxed frequency) could be interesting, and I would also be grateful for whatever you can give …

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Els, that’s what I was thinking too. It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one thinking this 🙂 What sort of frequency do you think would work best for you when you say “relaxed frequency”? Maybe a weekly coaching call?

      Reply
  11. Kyle Fogle

    Clay, this sounds like something that you genuinely want to do. From my time being a parent I completely understand the hesitancy. I was the same way. I’m sure Mika is probably 100% on board with this. And I’m sure if there’s ever a problem she’d tell you or you’d sense and be aware of it. The only issue I genuinely see with a group based setting is trying to make it personal. Then again the community you’ve built is very strong, understanding, and above all else adaptive to new things. That’s all thanks to your positive influence. I’m sure like with your live streams this will take a bit of testing to see/fix any kinks. I believe you have the ability to get this up and running smoothly. Have a great day!
    -Hawk

    Reply
    • Kyle Fogle

      Wow, just read a bunch of comments. I’m sure you did too. We all completely seem to support this idea. And almost everyone gave their personal ideas, thoughts, or suggestions. With this community. It’s completely possible. Heck this community will support each other through all their problems. You’ve gathered quite an amazing group of people. We voice all our concerns because we know you listen. You got this Clay!

      Reply
      • Clay Andrews

        Kyle, yeah, I’m really grateful for all of you and I truly appreciate all the ideas and feedback from you all. I still don’t know what this will look like exactly, but I’m sure we can all figure out the details together as we move forward to make sure we meet everyone’s needs.

        Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Ha ha! Yeah, it certainly took some time to get the hang of livestreaming. My heart still skips a beat whenever some sort of glitch happens with the stream while I’m live. Yeah, I’ve talked a lot about this with Mika and she is on board too. She actually wants to help and do coaching as well, but the time constraints make it tough for her. If we do this, she may end up being a guest coach whenever things work out just right 🙂

      Reply
      • Kyle Fogle

        Clay, we all know you and Mika’s schedules are crazy especially with your daughter. I know we will all understand and be supportive of your own decisions through this process!

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Thanks Kyle. I’m doing my best to balance my profession without becoming one of those “always working” dads who isn’t present with their kids. And I think some sort of group coaching might help me do that, plus it might make coaching more accessible to people.

          Reply
  12. Kaine Irvine

    Sounds great to me, Clay!

    I’d love the opportunity to see a more intimate approach to your style of coaching.

    Thanks for all your help!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thank you for the feedback, Kaine. I’m getting a lot of positive responses from people and it’s very encouraging for me 🙂

      Reply
  13. B

    I bought your program years ago to try to get back my ex but it didn’t work (which is fine, lol). So I hadn’t paid too much attention to emails that much. If you offer other advice or coaching besides getting an ex back I’d be interested in that.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      B, yeah, we’ve been doing that for a while now. We have the Compatibility Code (relationship mindset), Loving Boldly (dating advice for women), and Dating Bravely (dating advice for men). I’ve been trying to build out courses for the full path that someone may need in order to get the relationship that they want.

      Reply
  14. April

    I think that doing personal and group coaching would be great. This can give us all the help that we need to interact with others that are wanting to accomplish the same goal.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      April, yeah, and I’m imagining that each “cohort” of people might also create some strong bonds and friendships with one another too, which I think would be a very beautiful thing as well 🙂

      Reply
  15. Fay Leilani Lonzanida

    Hey Clay!

    I think it’s awesome you’re wanting to help so many people get the love of their life back, which really could be their soul mate. Your program helped me get my ex back and we’re stronger than ever since December of last year.

    I couldn’t have done it without you and the help and support of your team. I was turned down for personal coaching in another program, then I found the MLA and really did a lot to work on myself. I’d say, what I learned saved me at a time I was in a really dark place. So, I encourage you to start the online coaching or coaching course and group. You’ve helped and changed so many lives and I feel there’s still so much that can be done. Thank you…for everything!

    Sincerely,
    Fay Leilani

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thank you for sharing your story Fay! I’m glad to hear about your success!

      Reply
  16. Melissa

    Personally I can be quite shy talking on the phone or video call with a new person or people. I’d like personal coaching but thru something like messenger where I can text but get an instant response. Or an email based coaching where I can ask questions later once I’ve had time to think thru the new information

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Melissa, yeah, I know what you mean. There’s always something kind of weird about talking on the phone with someone you’ve never met. It’s hard to really relax without being able to see their face (or even know what they look like!).

      Reply
  17. Noel

    Yes, it would be great! Could do have a group or have coaching for people who have children with their ex’s?

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      We’ll see. It depends on how many other people out there are in that situation. But thank you for your feedback.

      Reply
  18. Jacob

    Hey Clay! In my search through a fair few different coaches and channels I found you seem to be the most reasonable.

    It seems everyone else is either doing it for their own gain or entirely in the “mind game” type of program.

    I value your opinion and advice rather high and you arethe person I wish I had in my corner during my breakup.

    I will say, thank you for the advice you gave me!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thank you so much for sharing that, Jacob! That really means a lot to me!

      Reply
  19. John

    I would love this and I feel it would be very helpful for someone in my situation and others like me. Often times I feel I am possibly losing moments etc or ruining moments etc and when I write a question and then wait a week for the response, sometimes I have already acted negatively or the moment has passed and a new concern has arise. I think its an exceptional idea and I even have some info for possible platform ideas, etc. Lemme me know if you would like to hear them. I’d love to help.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Yes! I would love to hear any ideas you have. I really don’t know what this whole thing will look like, but I’m really hoping to hear from everyone so that we can create something that works for everyone.

      Reply
  20. Ema

    Personal coaching is ok

    Reply
  21. Garry

    Group coaching and interactive online courses more accessible and affordable options for a lot of people

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      That is exactly what I am thinking too, Garry!

      Reply
  22. Jeanine

    You’re one of the few out there I feel I can relate to when it comes to this topic. I’d be very interested in a group session or online forum with you. Plus I feel like I connect better when others are engaging in the same topic I’m interested in and share their stories and ideas. Thank you for being open to the idea

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks for sharing, Jeanine. I can totally understand. I think when everyone is part of the same “group” it can definitely feel more like a community.

      Reply
  23. Yvonne

    I think weekly coaching in small groups or more personalized would be great. I would even love access to email coaching. I personally enjoy the livestreams but it is often hard to keep up when life is happening. I find the MQA to be a great value to the MLA and possibly even what keeps some members in, from conversations I’ve had with others. I think you have wonderful insight to relationships and I think if you coached alongside material from your courses or on application to our situations, this would be a huge plus and would make being a paid member even more worth it!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks so much Yvonne. I really appreciate feedback from you (and other people currently involved in the MLA)

      Reply
  24. Lemont newsom

    Hey clay i have always loved your videos. They are really helping me with my break up i would love your one on one coaching but i dont have the funds to do so i am in a very difficult spot right now im doing better than i was i think i still need help

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Lemont, thanks for the kind words. I’m hoping that I can have a discussion with everyone here on this blog to figure out something that works for everyone.

      Reply
  25. Pamela Clarke

    It would be great to have an online group coaching. I joined originally to get back with my ex, learnt he was emotionally unavailable so now I’m actively dating again.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Pamela, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Yeah, it’s tough if the person you want to be with is emotionally unavailable. But if you know how to identify emotionally unavailable people, you can learn how to let go of them so that you can have the space to welcome someone into your life who is emotionally available.

      Reply
  26. Álvaro Silva

    Hello Clay,

    It’s an interesting idea and I honestly think that it can work really well. It can work like those support groups that people go to talk about their problems like addictions and things like that (a lot of people, myself included, actually found themselves dependent of their ex when the relationship was over) and even those who are shy and don’t like to talk about things like this to strangers, could just listen to other people’s stories and, not only realize that there are others who are in the same position they are and still find ways to approach the situation in a positive way, hopefully inspiring them to do the same, but also would be an amazing way to practice the advance relational skills we’ve learnt in a safe environment.

    Now how to do all this though? Not only when it comes to what platform to use to communicate, but also how to “manage” a reasonable amount of time for this. That I don’t know, but you can always check with the your staff, Mika and the community you’ve created.

    I thank you for your effort to find ways to help us even more that you already do.

    Wish you the best.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, Alvaro! One thing that I really hope from all of this, is that whatever we come up with can help to create a stronger sense of community with the people who might be in one of these courses.

      Reply
  27. Arih

    Hi Clay

    Your advice helped me a lot a couple of years back and I got back together with my boyfriend and we’re still together now. I think it’s a great idea to do coaching if it works for you – email/instant messaging might be good for your home circumstances and also for clients who feel more comfortable talking over text. I think it’s so valuable to have a resource with great, healthy advice that helps people feel less alone during difficult times. Relationship issues can be so difficult to go through so I think that’s important! Very grateful

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks for sharing your experience, Arih. I’m glad that you are in a better place with your relationship right now. And I’m glad that I may have played a small role in that journey. Best wishes to you and your boyfriend 🙂

      Reply
  28. Lukas K.

    Hi Clay,
    I think that’s a great idea, but you should think about that, if you will be able to handle all that stuff at once. I mean your family in the first place and then helping people with relationship in Q&A, MLA forum, all that ESP stuff and your youtube channel and more to that personal coaching and group coaching.

    It’s really great to see your devotion to help people and personal coaching is definitely something, via through you can help them/us even more. But there can be really a lot of people waiting for personal help (so there is a time and schedule question) and many of them couldn’t afford it because of the price maybe and it can be quite dangerous for some, because… if they’ll be in the first stage of the healing process, they can out of despair use their last money for personal coaching and that’s not gonna help them at all. Or they coul’d be just even more sad, because they couldn’t afford it.
    I think the middle golden path could be that interaction classes, with a some kind of discussion. But try to give a chance to personal coaching and we all will see after some time, if it worked. If not, you always can decide to end it and everybody will learn from that.
    Oh and I have a one idea, maybe create in the MLA forum rooms accordingly to stages of healing process. It can be easier to help people because now, there is everything mixed together in breakup discussions and for example riding in dragon isn’t much helpfull information for someone who is in DMC.

    Thank you for your effort and devotion to help us and wish you the best 🙂

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Lukas, thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I can tell you’ve put a lot of careful thought in to this, and these are many of the thoughts that I’ve been running through my own mind while thinking about all of this. I’ll be sure to keep these in mind while figuring out what to do next.

      Reply
  29. Jennifer Ryan-Ourand

    Hi Clay Jenna here. First and foremost is this something you Really want to do? If so, then I think the group coaching is the PERFECT IDEA! I would definitely join! Then and only IF you decide to take on private clients I would call you! I truly hope this helps c and I want to commend you on feeling the “disconnect” that’s not an easy thing to do. You’re a great teacher and I’ve learned so much already but have a long way to go to get my ex back I feel and you are just the person to help me do that “PERFECTLY” I might add 😊!Thank You!

    Reply
  30. Hannah

    Definitely would be interested in group coaching! Im doing my best with the ESP but could use a little more in depth help.

    On top of the general course i think it would also be helful to maybe get more of your advice of gaining more confidence, and less fear. Im a very shy person and i feel like this has held me back so much. My ex has seen change in me but im still shy and hold back on fun moments and know it dissapoints. I want to stop second guessing myself every step.

    I know you mentioned you’ve also gone through this and would love more advice on it. 🙂

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Hi Hannah, thanks for your thoughtful response. Yes, that is something that I went through. What got me out of it was going through a (strange) week or so, where I was so exhausted and sleep deprived from a work deadline, that when I went to my company Christmas party, I just didn’t have the energy to filter my thoughts and hold myself back the way that I usually did. So I just said anything and everything that was on my mind and all my coworkers LOVED me. It was unreal. In that moment, I learned that I was only holding myself back out of my own fear. But in reality, I could be myself and people would actually like me. Maybe I could talk more about that at some point.

      Reply
      • Hannah

        Wow, crazy how much we can be holding back our own potential. And how lack of sleep can loosen up our filter hah. I’d definitely like to know more about that!
        I’d never guess you’d be someone who struggled with that and hope i can get to that point.

        Reply
        • Clay Andrews

          Ha ha! Thanks. That means a lot! Sometimes, when I’m just by myself, I still think of myself as a shy person.

          Reply
  31. Ck

    Yes do it if your heart is desiring it.

    I found ESP and CC at the end of 2016 when I was trying to get someone back but instead I got myself back. Clays program was the foundation for my change.

    Beginning with ESP/CC it led me to read other self development books and learn more through podcasts/YouTube have 1 on 1 coaching sessions etc also out of mordern love I met a friend there who has become a really good friend today.

    I decided my ex was meant for me as I grew more self worth. But Clays program was the catalyst for my changes. When people ask about my changes I always tell them who it started with Clay and Mike and ESP program.

    I think you can definitely help a lot of people with group coaching. Thank you to you and Mika for helping me with my own changes through CC and ESP.

    I am always grateful.

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Wow! I am stunned! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am truly humbled to have had such an impact on you. Thank you so much!

      Reply
  32. Steve S-P

    Hi Clay, I’d be very interested in joining your new project. It’s been a year since splitting with my ex, although this was only after two months of getting back together at the end of 3 1/2 years of an on again off again relationship. I found your course last summer and have been working through the ESP since then especially going through the advanced relations skills over and again but have not reached the point where I feel the time is right for “D day”, I am a very busy doctor and have struggled to bring the skills to how I am 24/7. She is now living with a very wealthy retired guy who is funding her business start-up and is with her 24/7. I have tried to build communication by referring clients to help build her business which has been appreciated, so communication has been polite but distant. But for example, I did actually try ringing her mobile a while back with no answer and then got a call back from him not her, which surprised me, so I just discussed client referrals. She was actually present as he was asking advice from her during the conversation.
    So difficult to know how to proceed and difficult to know if I’m ready. So one-on-one coaching would be perfect for me , But if that’s not available then group coaching.
    All the best with your new project , i’m sure you’re helping many people out there. Stick with the Clay, you are much appreciated .
    Steve

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Thanks for the encouragement, Steve. About your ex, remember, that it may be convenient for her to be with this wealthy guy, but a relationship needs more than convenience or money to thrive. I imagine you probably already know that and that your relationship with her was built on a strong emotional foundation. And that if the two of you are going to get back together, that emotional foundation has to be strengthened. What do you think might be missing in that emotional foundation between you and her?

      Reply
  33. Brenna

    I do believe that the ESP coaching turned my whole perspective around in my relationship with my guy. I came from a place of neediness which he saw right thru and I took last Summer to do “me” and we are in a much better place because of it.
    I vote for group coaching. It maximizes your audience iwhile also keeping your personal life intact!

    Reply
    • Clay Andrews

      Brenna, Thank you so much for sharing your experience, and for your support 🙂

      Reply

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